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Late Knot

This painting marks the first time I managed to miss my own self-imposed deadline. This isn't a habit I want to get into. Painting has been such a great learning experience, it would be a shame to slow down. In my previous daily project, I would sometimes get behind when I couldn't think of anything to draw (which is a silly excuse I still cling onto occasionally). This time, I had a painting planned out, but I was kind of scared to paint the thing.

I would like to go ahead and analyze that previous thought - I was afraid to paint. Resistance is a tricky, ever-changing beast; it has somehow convinced me that something I love doing is harmful. What is my biggest fear in all of this? I am afraid of doing work that outs me as a fraud. I am scared that the next painting will point out what resistance has told me so many times: that I'm not good enough, and I never will be.

I don't actually believe any of that (not all the time, anyway). Good or bad, every time I sit down and paint, I learn something new. When I paint, I do it for me. Getting to share my work is just a nice bonus. I will keep going.

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